grateful

I am so abundantly grateful to my friends. and I believe outwardly to the ones in my day to day life. Although I feel I've usually made the effort to be a good friend, as could as I was capable of at the time, to most of my friends since the beginning, I feel I have let too much time and space pass between some of them.

I know things change, people change, relationships become closer or more distant. This is enevitable. But there are a handful of people who at one point or another were huge parts of my life and whom I still love very dearly, but the relationship has faded, in some cases to near non-existance. This makes me sad. I know it's the nature of things, but I miss them and can't help but realize my part in it. I have not always put in the effort to maintain these relationships. and now I fear too much has passed, too much time, too much space, too much growth and change. I know it will never be the same, not really asking that it be, I just wish that each of you knew that I still deeply care about each of you and want to be part of your life on some level. I would still help you anyway I could if you asked, without hesitation (I think most of you know that) I miss feeling like I could really call you close friends because you are near and dear to my heart, but feel I cannot because there is too much of your life I do not know.

I think perhaps I have not treated you all with the gratefulness I feel. I fear I have been too distant with my love and too quick to take for granted your being willing to be there.

I guess my main point is I love you and hope you know that even when it hasn't been said enough...