An eye for an eye...

So at the moment in history class we’re talking about the time period between the two world wars and it really got me thinking how different the world could be if when they were writing the treaty of Versailles that they hadn’t been out for some sort of revenge, some sort of we’re winners and you’re losers and we’re going to make you pay. Particularly when there was no clear winner or loser and Germany (who got the brunt of the fall out) was not entirely to blame nor did they do anything more horrible than anyone else.  If they had followed Woodrow Wilson’s idea of a “peace without victory” I think things would have been very, very different. (Such as I don’t think WWII and the rise of Hitler would have really happened) And had they stopped and listened to Ho Chi Minh who had begged them to listen to his concerns about the future of Vietnam while they were writing the treaty of Versailles, perhaps that whole thing would have been different too…

But I digress, we could spend forever discussing the moments in time that we could have done something different, knowing that things would be different, but not necessarily better; and to spend energy wishing we could change the past when we can’t, is a waste, but from looking at the past we can learn to try to do things differently in the future. This is where I am.

Looking at this time frame, and particularly what happened at the writing of the Treaty of Versailles, I see some problems that we as humans often seem to have and the future impact these things have. It is so common to have this desire for revenge, for placing blame, for demanding there to be a winner and a loser, etc, even when there really isn’t a need. The whole thing makes me sad on some level because it doesn’t always have to be that way and quite often it ends up not only hurting the other person, but us as well. Makes me think of the Gandhi quote “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”.  Revenge really gets us nowhere, or at least doesn’t really help us.

I do believe there are times when people are at fault, whether they break rules or inflict damage to another or what have you; and I do believe there are times when there is a winner and a loser (more so in games then in war), but I believe how we treat people who do us harm is so very important.

The whole idea of “an eye for an eye” was setup to try and limit escalation of events, to create some sort of law as to cause and effect that would limit feuds and just dole out punishment. Before this the powerful would simply squash the weak, before this one might kill another’s goat and in pay back the victim would turn around and kill the other’s son which would then spark a retribution for that and so on leaving destruction in its path. It was an effort to say if you did this, this would happen, end of story. Which I believe was a step forward.

But I believe we also use this idea as an excuse to do the opposite, we see the harm others inflict on us but do not always see the harm we inflict on others. We use this ‘eye for an eye’ as a justification for me to cause you pain because you caused me pain, which only adds to the pain of the world.

Also I still think there is some basic problem in the idea of if you do me wrong you then owe me, particularly if the return payment is too big or if the wrong was to some degree unintentional. We let our anger run away with us. I’m not saying that if you stole fifty bucks from my brother (or vice versa) you shouldn’t have some punishment for it (otherwise I think there would be chaos)such as a minimum of if you still have the money it should be returned but there needs to be some consideration for the factors involved. Why was the money stolen? Does the punishment fit the crime? And so on. I think the goal of punishment should be to detour people from doing things against the rules and try to keep things as fair as possible, a way of protecting everyone, everyone.  There is a definite cause and effect that happens, if you’re mean to someone, they should have every right to wish to not be your friend or even not be around you if possible, but the mentality of I should be mean right back to them bothers me. I feel we often take things from the realm of protecting ourselves to the point of actually using someone else’s misdeeds as an excuse to inflict pain on them.  Which is particularly worrisome when there really aren’t winners and loser and really no one is more at fault than anyone else, then it becomes the powerful bullying the weak again, and not a way of trying to correct and reduce problems in the future.

This may just be yet another way where my view of the world is simply different from many, but I don’t get any genuine pleasure or gain from inflicting pain on others even if they somehow ‘deserve it’. It does not bring me joy nor take away the pain to watch someone else who caused me pain to have pain inflicted on them. It all only further adds ill will to the world. I think there should be consequences for actions because it would be unfair otherwise, but I think these consequences should stop at trying to make things better in the future and not go into the realm of simply wanting to inflict pain.

I know on some level from looking at history, that there is some part of us, of humanity, that seems to enjoy other’s pain. This is why the gladiators were so exciting to Rome, the executions so exciting to Europeans, perhaps even why we laugh a bit when someone falls and hurts themselves. And we are somehow convinced that watching someone who has caused us problems misery, will make our pain less, will make our lives better. It’s somehow the idea of it’s ok if I’m miserable as long as someone else is too.

I think there is, also, some level of they deserve it. I find this a bit of a sticky thought. There does have to be some sort of cause and effect, some sort of consequences to maintain order and try to promote justice, I accept that. I believe if I do something wrong, I should have to face a reasonable punishment or consequence for it. However, there is something in the pleasure at someone else’s misery that I find disturbing. I, at least from my experience of being a boss, really hated having to punish another, I took no joy in it. It was necessary to maintain order (there is some danger and unjustice to not following through with reasonable punishments and expectations. There needs to be some level of cause and effect to cause learning, growth and order) but I never wanted to have to do it. I wanted everyone to just follow the rules or if they didn’t agree with them try to work in respectful confines to try and change them.  But at no point did I try to cause pain because I wanted to (and not just because it was wrong to do so, I never wanted to.) Causing you pain does not make me feel better, causing you pain causes me pain.

 Although, perhaps, there is some level of frustration going on; of feeling helpless to fix anything and so the only thing that eases that is perhaps seeing them in pain as proof that you were somehow right and they were wrong. Maybe that is a core issue, this frustration and belief that their pain takes away some blame or shame and puts it on them. It seems on some basic, possibly primal level, to abate this frustration when there seems to be no other way.

The challenge I think is to let this go, this concept of being right and wrong, of making them pay (as if a million dollars really replaces someone’s life) to move beyond the frustration (of not being able to change the past, to truly ‘fix’ it) and try and make a better world for all of us. How different would the world be if we could really let go of wanting to hurt someone because they hurt us, let go of any pleasure in hurting another, and spend the energy trying to make a better future?

What if the Allies had simply accepted that this whole first World War was a huge mistake brought about by many of the problems in Western Civilization, of which they were all partly to blame, and had simply agreed that the best interest for everyone was to end the war and let everyone rebuild their countries after the destruction, instead of making someone the loser and making them pay something they had NO hope of ever really paying? How different would it be if we all tried to focus on the causes of problems, taking in consideration any part we or the society may have in the conflict, and how to do things differently going forward? If we could somehow move away from adding any extra secondary or tertiary emotions of shame and so on, that so often hold us back from making any real change, and focus on how we could try to make it better? No amount of inflicting pain will change the past, ever. All that we can possibly do is try to change the future.

I know someone out there is probably thinking something about how foolish or naïve this whole thought of the world is, probably thinking it’s awfully utopian in its outlook. Maybe it is on some level. My only real argument to that is, I am under no delusion that there will never be conflict, not only do I think that’s impossible, I think it would cause evolution and growth to halt in its tracks. There is nothing wrong with conflict, nothing wrong with not doing something perfectly, with not being perfect. We wouldn’t be human without it, we will make mistakes, it’s human. My only hope is that we try to move to a place where just because one makes the mistake of inflicting pain, we don’t try and destroy them or take pleasure in their pain, not asking that we do this every time perfectly, but just a hope that we stop and think, that we try to learn and grow, that we try.