Grandma

I don't know why I find myself thinking of you so much lately, but I do. I feel I too often pass up oppertunities to let people know how much I love them. and I do really love so many, and do not say it nearly enough. There are too many people in my life that I won't let close to me, not believing anyone could really love me if they knew who I really am. I miss too many chances to really know people; convinced I am too undeserving for their love. I miss you. and wish I had let you in.

Loving House

In a house

brimming with life

there in the back bedroom

is a loved one dying

we still laugh

still live, but a little quieter now

from the room

hushed voices are heard in the background

bright music is playing

the large window filled with sunlight

and in the comfy chair

sits the proud matriarch

there is a steady stream of visitors

and family filling the pauses

we are all together

taking care of the one

who has taken care

of us all

there is life here

in the house of the dying

and a love that will always be

------

Time

Time ticks by

slowly

yet too quickly

we don’t notice

as it slips away

but when we turn around

years have passed

this is how it’s been

with you

snapshots of time

strung together

to form a relationship

I remember…

Christmas cookies

being decorated

in red and green

The splish splash

the smell of chlorine

summers spent in fun

stretching of dough

spicing the meat

as we learn

how to make flat tires

running around

being superheroes

in freshly made yellow capes

bumpy, dirt road

watching from the back of the RV

on the way to the cottage

adventures in Florida

shuttle launches that never took off

and Disney world

little fingers

on keys of black and white

trying to teach piano

to would-be trombone players

learning how

to freshly press slacks

apparently I never got

the iron hot enough

The soft mechanical hum

as the needle moves up and down

trying to get the seam straight

knit pearl, knit pearl

patiently trying to teach

me how to make a hat

beautiful music

from an organ

that’s my grandma up there!

fluffy, mop of a dog

oh so happy

to see you

trips to town, the store

and church

always feeling so important

to be with you

Halloween

decorations and candy

out of a trunk?

the snapping of a deck of cards

as another hand is shuffled

and dealt

hours of fun

clicking and flipping of dominoes

even with the handicap

you always won

I remember

kindness

and unconditional love

you offered to always be there

if I needed to talk

I wish I had taken you up on that

I wish I had more snapshots

I wish I had more time

----

I stand by the board

Waiting

Patiently

Ok not so patiently

For the iron to heat up

I wait this time

Because in the last few months

Of my grandma’s life

She took the time

To teach me what she knew

She waited until I, her only granddaughter

Her only tomboy granddaughter

Wanted to learn to sew

To knit

To hem

To cook

To iron

And she was patient

Even as she ran out of time

I wish I remember more

But one of the few things

I do remember

Is you have to get the iron hot enough

And so I wait

And think of my grandma

And hope that one day I’ll pass it on

So she may live forever.

You were such a good person, who touched so many lives for the better, my only hope is when I come to die, I've helped even half as many people. Love you always