Can't turn away

It scares me so much
To love you the way I do
To want to tear down all these masks
I’ve had all these years
And stand before you
Naked
To let you beyond all the barriers
All the stone walls
Into this room no one else has entered
To be entirely open
To be completely vulnerable to you
It kills me that I’m so afraid
That I hurt you the way I do
That every time I’m about to let you in
I freak out
As fear takes hold
And I push you away
Beyond the walls of my castles
The edge of the moat
And the surrounding hills
Sometimes I think I prefer pain
To love
‘cause it seems to hurt less
But I can’t seem to turn away
From you
And so this game we’ll
Until I get over
This past pain that makes me so afraid
Or you get too tried to try again