Why does tomorrow feel

beyond that of possibility

And today as though it

is lost to a fluid surreality

and all that my life is

is a burden of a past

carved so vividly

bloodily

permanently

into my being

that though I try to escape

I am always brought back

I am chained to moments in time

Harsh and unforgettable

Unforgiveable moments

Replayed over and over

And everything else is but background noise

Branded, scarred, mutilated for all eternity

And all the present does is

Pour salt on these old, but still bleeding wounds

I long to fly

But have long ago broken my own wings

what's the point in trying if it's never going to get better?

some days it all too much. It hurts so damn much to care and honestly love people some times. I don't wish to not care, I don't wish to not let people in. (not really) but with love we open ourselves to pain. and it can be hard.

I wish everyone could understand the quiet pain I go through when I can't speak all I know for the sake of confidences, but want so much to ease pain. I don't know what to do in these moments when I love two people who are hurting each other, when it doesn't seem to be enough to be loyal to both and neither.

To love people and have them push you away because they can't understand how you can love both of them and not choose between them

I just love, and listen, and remain

and it never really seems to be enough, but I'm more than aware that it's all I really can do